So, hi, everyone who is reading this should be...
A) Very, VERY Bored
B) Curious about me
Whatever, for those who don't know me, let me tell you about me and my situation. My name is Alejandro, but i like more when people call me Alex, im 18 years old, im gay and im from Peru. Five months ago the relationship with the boy who was my boyfriend for two years ended. Why did he broke up with me? Because he couldn't stand animore my spoiled girl probules, because i didn't know how to understand hims limits and mines, we break up because no one had the guts to say what he dind't liked of the other. So? I miss him... i stil love him a lot, and he is certanily the most importante person in my life. when everything was messed up and i were always thinking that my life was worthless he showed up and maed me smile, i fell inlove with him, it has been almost 3 years from that day, and i still feel that memorie warm.
I would lie if i say that i dind't hated him in that time, i wanted him to be unhappy, i wished him to be hurted so much that he would have to come back asking for another chance, i wished him to be alone and die, damn i sure did it, but my horror was inmense when i knowed that he was with hims ex again, who treated him like garbage, made him the saddest person i have seen in my whole life, that bastard.But.... I don't have the right to say a thing, we lost contact for two months, we stoped to talk each other, our friendship was diying slowly, he and i were only strangers in the same place, so close, yet so far, so i just wen't away and let him go
But, not so much time ago, we startet to talk to each other, he wanted to talk with me, he said he missed me, that he still liked me just like me, that he was still feeling nostalgic, but that he will stay with his boyfriend, that even if he tried to kill that feeling he was still mad at me, there was still something that bond us together, we can't just walk away from each other life, taking all the past away, we started to talk after 3 long months, he was happy, i was happy, everything was okay
And then...
His boyfriend is very jealous, and i just can't stand each other, he hates me, and i hate him too, he entered at my ex¡s mail and we started to argue, not sending insults to each others, it was more like ironies and presions, i was mad so i entered at my ex's msn, i still knowed hims password, well... i think i know more of him that i know of myself, i throw his bf from his msn, and i stayed there trhowing out him until he got tired and leaved. Later that night, he went to my ex and started to yell him because that he was still talking with me, he got problems by my fault, and he was mad at me for entering at hims msn, so hims bf say "If you don't block him i will be very mad with you!" so i was blocked, the time pased by, alsmot a month, we still don't talk. we are still far away from each other
The other day i gathered all my courage and called him, we talked, and i think it was okay, i don't know what will happen now, his boyfriend knows that he talked with me and my ex was mad with me again, he yelled me and say i should forget about him, but then, he knew the truth, that he boyfriend was lying to him too.
I don't know what will happen now... i don't know how thins will end, i just know i wan't my special person back to me, im scared and i feel like if im going to break down. But you know? He is the one i really love, and i feel that the sacrifice can be done for him. I want him back and i will do anything to take him back to my side, i just can't accept that the best thing that ever happened to me end like this, i don't know how much it will take to fix things but i know i will try as many times is needed
Im afraid to make more mistakes...but im more afraid to loose him forever
Current Mood: 
annoyed
Current Music: Garbage - Tell me where it hurts